A child with a healthy dose of self-esteem has the best defense against life’s challenges –Ariadne Brill
How do we as Mother’s build up our own child’s sense of self-esteem and self-worth if we struggle to harness it in ourselves?
Our children, our mirror into ourselves, see deeper than our words to them. They understand when Mommy doesn’t feel good about herself, lowers her own desires and ambitions, and places herself as the lowest on the list of priorities. While we think we may be sacrificing for the sake of our families, the truth is, when we feel terrible about who we are and what we do, our kids pick up on that.
So, if you struggle with self-worth; the internal state of being that comes with self-understanding, self-love and self-acceptance, here are some ways to help you to build yourself back up.
First remember that it’s not selfish to command a high sense of self-worth; especially as a Mom. It’s a selfless act to feel good about yourself, feel enough about yourself, and demonstrate that to your children. No one in your life benefits from you feeling bad about YOU, so let’s talk about recognizing it and moving on up!
1. Recognize when and where judgment of yourself and comparison to others emerges. One of the best ways to build self-worth is to create an immunity toward judgment of yourself. By practicing recognition for when judgment of yourself comes up in your mind, and allowing yourself to be present with the thought, you can shift to a better thinking thought that may put your sense worth at ease.
As you recognize a belief about yourself that puts you down, your efforts down or tricks you into thinking that you are not good enough, place your feet on the ground, your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and say to yourself ‘I am good enough.’ ‘I AM enough.’ ‘I am doing my best.’ ‘My best is always enough.’
2. Give yourself credit….like all the time. In the comparison driven culture we live in, it can be difficult (and often feel downright uncomfortable) to pat ourselves on the back. But the truth is, you deserve daily accolades – so don’t be shy about taking them!
-Did you cook (microwave) dinner/do the laundry/wash a dish?
-Did you go to work/keep your children alive/or maintain your own self today?
-Are you awesome at making soup or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Give yourself credit for being amazing!
Find comfort in allowing these things to be enough and pat yourself on the back for getting through the day.
3. Surround yourself with people that allow you to feel good about yourself.
Find a community online, a trusted person in your family or circle of friends where you feel secure to feel good about yourself. Remind yourself why you deserve this relationship and why you deserve to pivot toward good feeling thoughts about YOU more often.
Do more of what makes you feel good.
Does exercise, crafting, writing, or music make you feel good inside? Ditch the excuses and do more of that then! Sneak ways of feeling good into your life and know that happiness is what you deserve in your head, your heart, and your soul.
Allow yourself to step into the place of deserving to feel good about YOU. Allow yourself to drop your expectations, release your comparisons, and know that you are so perfectly you.
I love to practice worthiness in my meditations and watch how my life transforms! I offer you a free guided meditation on self-love with a visual to help you see and feel your own sense of worth. Please find the Love thy Self Meditation HERE.