I am a straight shooter. While bringing a new baby into your family is so sweet and special, it can also be filled with overwhelm, the constant need to set boundaries, and load and loads of laundry. Here are some truths about the transition that happens when you bring another child into your home.
1. Emotions will be HIGH – whatever emotion is being experienced, the level to which it is experienced will accelerate quickly. Whether it’s love and adoration or meltdown city, emotions will spiral and FAST.
2. Your older children will become Godzilla overnight – my three year old now weighs 126 pounds, has a 12 pound bowling ball as a head, and his voice changed to 2 octaves lower; overnight! In comparison to your newborn, your older children will become so much larger, heavier, and more mature as you blink.
3. You will feel badly about not spending enough time with your older children. Newborns require a lot of time and effort. Because of this, the amount of one on one time and attention that you are able to give to your other children, dear mama, will change. You will lay awake at night feeling terrible that you did not spend enough quality time with each child and then you will remember this – you are doing the best you can, so make most of the moments that matter. The times when you are able to read your children a book – be there. Make the most of the time you have helping them to get dressed, do their hair, or brush their teeth. Sneak in the important one on one time when you can. Be present for those moments and soak them in. This is where it counts.
4. You will resent your partner – here’s my disclaimer; my husband is a GREAT man and father. That being said though, after taking a few days off when baby was born, his life went back to normal. His work and extra-curriculars picked right back up. Besides having another head to kiss when he left the house, he got out of the balancing game scott free. Me on the other hand, my life was turned upside down. Anything I knew as normal has changed and I’ve had to be willing to adapt. And because of this, I sometimes feel like he has it made, and I have loads of sacrifices on my plate.
5. Laundry – seriously, there is so much more!
6. You will lose your cool with your children – this is a tough one to tackle but even the most mindful mom winds up losing it unintentionally with her older children. It’s not the kids fault, and it’s not yours either. You can only handle so much and while everyone’s emotional state is in transition, mom sized meltdowns happen, and it’s ok.
7. You will have moments where you impress the hell out yourself and you will have moments where you will want to run away. There will be moments when everyone is fed, you’ve done some laundry, perhaps even put on some makeup and have set your older children up with a craft they love while you wear the baby and vacuum the house. You will feel like a rock star of a woman and have a deep knowing that you are amazing.Remember this and soak it in. Because there will also be moments that feel so chaotic and make you wonder things like ‘what kind of life is this anyway?’ that will make you question your worth and if you can handle it all.
You can. You are that rockstar woman, even when it feels overwhelming. I beg you, remember that you are capable and that no matter what, it is all just mere moments,and your moment to thrive will be coming once again.
8. You will revel at your capacity to love. You will fall so deeply in love with your newest addition, then look toward your other children and remember just how deeply your love is for them too. You will get overcome with love and gratitude as you watch your children turn into siblings and your family become a unit. Your ability to fall in love with a tiny creature you just met will blow your mind and you will know that no matter what else happens, LOVE is what this life is all about. Love is the foundational feeling that your family and your transition is built upon and when you have those moments looking deeply into your new baby’s eyes or reminiscing about how your older children were once that little too, you will remember – LOVE is all you need. LOVE is your truth. And everyone will always be ok because LOVE is the glue that holds you all together.
No time like while in transition to practice some Self Love for you Mama! I invite you to do a short meditation to establish more love for you. Get access to a FREE meditation just for us Moms, HERE.