"I think about how much shit I gave my husband, all because of what I saw on Instagram."
About a year and a half ago, my girlfriend posted photos on her Instagram account of a lavish date her husband took her on the night before. From a private helicopter ride, a few dozen flowers, and an upscale restaurant on the water in a completely different state, he pulled out all the punches for this fairy tale night.
Having known nothing about this other than what I saw on Social Media, I looked at her photos she had uploaded, glanced over my phone, to my unassuming husband sitting across the couch from me and gave him a handful of shit for this.
‘Look at what ‘John’ just did for ‘Hillary’ I snarled at him. All I’m saying Mike is that it would be nice if sometimes you just picked a restaurant and surprised me with a sitter.’
I mean, I didn’t need the helicopter ride and I didn’t need all those flowers, I didn’t need a grand gesture like this at all, but some effort into showing his love and appreciation for me would be nice from time to time.
Now, 18 months later, my girlfriend and her husband who took her on this lavish surprise date, are in the midst of a horrific separation. They fight, they avoid one another, and haven’t lived together or co-parented in months.
And often I think about how much shit I gave my husband, all because of what I saw on Instagram.
This past week I was more sick than I had been in years. I was stuck in bed for almost 4 days straight, not able to help around the house, help much with kids, or offer any type co-habitating with my husband.
And do you know what my husband did?
He did the laundry. He did the dishes. He took the kids out daily, bathed them, and put them down to bed each and every night so that I could rest.
None of this was glamorous. None of it ‘insta-worthy,’ it was just him showing his love for me the best way he knew how, by being there for me and with me.
So as this year winds down and I reflect on the moments that have made it come together, I reflect mostly on the small things.
The simple things that allowed me to see and feel the love between my children. The moments when my husband held me up when I felt down. The support from my family and community, The Mindful Mom Revolution.
The simple things are not the social media worthy photos that make your life whole and fulfilling. You don’t need a year in review playback movie of your past year to let you know that you had a fantastic one!
So while we head into 2019, and we begin to think about all the things we desire to make next year feel complete, let us focus on the simple things.
It is in these moments, as fleeting as they seem, that we create our best life. In the world of energy, these moments big or small, are all of equal importance. There is no grand gesture that is more important than filling ourselves up with instants of joy, appreciation, and love for ourselves and others.
The simple things ARE the big things. The simple things are what bring fulfillment. It is within the simple things that we manifest our greatest sense of calm, peace, devotion, and freedom. My wish for 2019 is to seek the moments that let you know that you are loved and you ARE love. There are no more important measures than this.
I invite you to join me in my online community, The Mindful Mom Revolution. I communicate there every week day and love the growing support of Moms who continue to make it an amazing space.